Everyone will have heard someone argue that “marriage is just a piece of paper”, and while that’s a cynical way to describe a union of two souls into one, it may be a reminder of the weight of a ketubah, without which there is no marriage.
A ketubah is often called a “Jewish wedding certificate” or “Jewish marriage contract”, but that does not nearly do justice to the significance of the document. While all the dancing and exquisite meals may be what the guests stay for, the ketubah is the wedding. It includes marital duties for the husband to his wife, and offers protection for the worst case scenarios.
Marriage includes duties, and these are codified in the ketubah, along with what is essentially a prenup in a worse-case scenario. This Jewish wedding contract is written in Aramaic, the legal language of Judaism, and states the husband’s obligations to the wife.
These are often expertly made as true works of art that get hung up on the wall. It reminds the couple of their obligations to each other on a daily basis, but the second reason is to know where it is at all times. The wife becomes responsible for the ketubah once the couple are married, and so now she will always know where it is and can save it in case of an emergency in the home. Should the ketubah get lost or be destroyed by accident, a replacement ketubah should be obtained and married life is put on pause until it has been replaced, including even being alone together in their own home. Best to put it somewhere safe before all the wedding dancing too!
At a Jewish wedding signing the ketubah happens right before the ceremony under the chuppah, usually during the time of the reception a.k.a. kabbalat panim, with the groom and two kosher witnesses. The ketubah is later read out loud during the wedding ceremony and then is handed over to the wife who is now responsible for its safekeeping.
In Israel, the ketubah is a legally binding marriage contract, but in other places around the world, it only holds within the Jewish community and couples also have a civil marriage certificate, but a government issued marriage contract is not regarded in Jewish law.
The ketubah text is supplemented with the date, place of marriage, and the names of the couple, with the rest standard in nearly any contract. Then the ketubah goes on to state the husband’s obligations to the wife which include basic human needs and financial security, money for the wife in case of divorce, and inheritance rights in case the husband passes away before the wife. The wedding ketubah has always protected women both during the marriage and afterwards in the event she is widowed or they divorce.
If the wedding is of a cohen man or a bat-cohen woman, the ketubah will look different to normal, and some communities may have slight variations but functionally it is exactly the same text.
Some people will have the ketubah written up by a professional scribe, known as a sofer, who also writes mezuzahs and Torah scrolls, but this is not necessary and it could even be printed out while still being kosher.
The text is what’s important about a ketubah, along with having kosher witnesses who can sign, but there are no limitations on what the display can be, including the scale, border, and font etc..
The phrase “modern ketubah” will mean different things to different people. For some, it might mean a unique ketubah design, including new papercut ketubah styles, both elegant and modern with a 3-D effect. While modern aesthetically, it could still come with the same text that’s been used for millennia.
For other people, they may look to have a new text for whatever reason, whether that’s to include English to give it easier contemporary understanding, to include more duties for the bride instead of just the groom, or any number of other motivations.
At Judaica Webstore, for each of the ketubah suppliers we work with, you can select from a wide range of text options including from a number of different affiliations and languages.
Every marriage is unique, but one should think carefully about making the ketubah too updated, as it were, since if it is not a kosher ketubah, then this may spell difficulties for the children in future, any dealings with the Israeli government, and G-d forbid divorce. Even an orthodox ketubah can have additions though, so speak to a rabbi about things you wish to include, if any additions at all.
Ultimately, this is just another way to make your wedding as personal and special as it should be. Unlike your efforts to match the napkins to the window curtains, a ketubah will last a lifetime as both a memento of the wedding day and a formal contract that makes it a unique relationship.
Take time to view different styles and fantastic ketubah options on sale at Judaica Webstore!
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